My Saudade

“My Saudade” ( 2020 – ) is a poignant series of self-portrait photographs that delve into the profound emotions of motherhood, intertwined with the complex experiences of failed IVF treatments. Through these photographs, I explore the intricate layers of identity, self-reflection, and the questioning of my own womanhood. It had taken me years to go back to these feelings that I went through. But this year, I feel ready to continue what I started in 2020.

The concept of “saudade,” is a Portuguese term that encapsulates a deep sense of longing, nostalgia, and melancholy. The photographs aim to convey the intense yearning for motherhood, the bittersweet memories of the IVF treatments, and the lingering emotions that accompany them. I strive to capture the raw and vulnerable moments of introspection, allowing the viewer to witness the inner struggles and uncertainties I face as a woman navigating the challenges of fertility. The photographs serve as a visual exploration of the profound questions that arise during this deeply personal journey.

The composition and visual language of the photographs are intentionally evocative, aiming to convey the depth of emotions and the internal dialogue that unfolds within me. Each image becomes a mirror through which I confront societal expectations, personal desires, and the weight of societal definitions of femininity and motherhood.

Through this series, I seek to challenge the notion that womanhood and fulfillment solely hinge on motherhood. I invite viewers to contemplate the complexity of female identity beyond societal norms, and to question the assumptions and expectations that can overshadow a woman’s sense of self-worth and purpose.

“My Saudade” is a visual narrative that aims to foster empathy, understanding, and dialogue surrounding the intersection of motherhood, fertility struggles, and the intricate nature of womanhood itself. It is a testament to the strength, resilience, and the multifaceted dimensions of being a woman in today’s society, highlighting the importance of embracing and celebrating individual journeys, regardless of the outcomes of IVF treatments.

Through this intimate and introspective series, I hope to encourage a broader conversation about the complexities of womanhood, the societal pressures surrounding motherhood, and the need for compassion and support for those who grapple with fertility challenges.